Saturday, July 01, 2006

Radio Lessons in Ethnic Diversity

Like a second rate TV show that's getting bad network notes, I've been on hiatus for a couple of weeks. However, unlike said hypothetical show, I'm back and hotter than ever. Goddamn it, I'm on fire!

I drove back home last week and surprised my parents - they weren't expecting me till later in the week. I consider a prank successful only if someone (A.) ends up facedown in a pile of manure or (B.) cries. Guess which my mom did.

It was an uneventful stay at home with one exception: I left my sweeeeeeet ass Volvo (a guaranteed chick magnet, that) in the sticks and traded up for a sweeeeeeeter Honda. Now, whenever I veer left, I'll be.....TURNING JAPANESE!!! HAHAHAAA LOLLOLLLOLZORS!!1!11!!!!

Ahem.

So I left damn-hell-ass early this morning, drove 15 hours, and ended up in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Quick question: when the hell did every radio station between the Mississippi River and...well, Las Cruces, decide to stop playing music and/or news? A dictum must have been issued to them stating that by NO MEANS would they play ANYTHING but religious shows. Seriously. This lovely exchange took place near Beaumont, Texas:

"And this morning, we're lucky to have with us the learned Reverend Randy (Something), a man not only strong in his convictions and strong in his intellectual aptitude, but also in his physical strength. He can bench press over 400 lbs."

"Aw, shucks. With an intro like that, you'd think I'm Superman!"

"Well, to us here, you are."

"You know I saw that new Superman movie this weekend; I liked it."

"That's great. You know I grew up with Superman on TV in black and white. Well. Superman was white. He was white, the program was in black and white."

And this is the most popular radio format in America. Fuck me.

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